Friday, February 13, 2009
david byrne radio
Takagi Masakatsu - Bloomy Girls [Live] [5:40] - Private/Public
Wanting to get something done with the last hour of work, here. But this damn music is too epic and beautiful for me to not feel like I'm flying.
Wanting to get something done with the last hour of work, here. But this damn music is too epic and beautiful for me to not feel like I'm flying.
Thursday, February 05, 2009
chopin
Listening to Preludes, Op. 28 No. 2. And it's soothing the WANT right out of me, for the moment. But I'm sure it'll only be for a moment. I have plenty to do tonight. Many tasks set before me. E-mails, mostly. About an ART party next Monday, that I want to throw.
And there's a shower that I need to take.
And some web design stuff that I should think about, and maybe even do. Maybe, while I work, I'll watch an episode of Heroes. Or Lost. Or some other mind-numbing morsel of escapism. Because, yes, I need to escape from the consequences of my actual desires, which I am unable to deal with at the moment.
And speaking of dealing with things: I'm not sure that I feel comfortable blogging freely here, where people might see, about my desires. There are some February happenings regarding Lust and Lack-ThereOf that I would rather not discuss in public.
So I will be blogging privately and publicly, this month. What I deem appropriate will trickle down to this blog. I hope that is not offensive, but it is necessary in order to maintain my ego, and I cannot afford to dissolve that in this economic climate.
This is one of the challenges that I am confronting by trying this whole National Blog Posting Month thing again. My ego, el Censore, often stops me from communicating at all. Everything is private. Every word might make me vulnerable, might end up coming back to bite me in the ass.
Nina Simone is playing now. One of my favorite thing in the world: giant playlists on random.
Ok, I'll talk about it, I'll make myself vulnerable, there was this girl . . . on Tuesday. And it was less than spectacular. Maybe my lowest point, actually, if I'll allow my ego to judge myself and my situation for a second.
And there's a shower that I need to take.
And some web design stuff that I should think about, and maybe even do. Maybe, while I work, I'll watch an episode of Heroes. Or Lost. Or some other mind-numbing morsel of escapism. Because, yes, I need to escape from the consequences of my actual desires, which I am unable to deal with at the moment.
And speaking of dealing with things: I'm not sure that I feel comfortable blogging freely here, where people might see, about my desires. There are some February happenings regarding Lust and Lack-ThereOf that I would rather not discuss in public.
So I will be blogging privately and publicly, this month. What I deem appropriate will trickle down to this blog. I hope that is not offensive, but it is necessary in order to maintain my ego, and I cannot afford to dissolve that in this economic climate.
This is one of the challenges that I am confronting by trying this whole National Blog Posting Month thing again. My ego, el Censore, often stops me from communicating at all. Everything is private. Every word might make me vulnerable, might end up coming back to bite me in the ass.
Nina Simone is playing now. One of my favorite thing in the world: giant playlists on random.
Ok, I'll talk about it, I'll make myself vulnerable, there was this girl . . . on Tuesday. And it was less than spectacular. Maybe my lowest point, actually, if I'll allow my ego to judge myself and my situation for a second.
I was not immediately attracted to her, but felt obligated to give it a shot anyway. The attraction did not grow. She'll never read this, don't worry. She'll never know about my judgement. That's what I'm telling myself. And in all likelihood, she won't. So what's the big deal?
I guess I bring it up because it makes me want to just GIVE UP on desire. Give up on relationships. Give up on sex. I won't, of course, not completely but I have been considering it for many moments of the day. And so, as I do, I must shower it all off, work on my stuff, watch things all night, and continue to move forward.
I guess I bring it up because it makes me want to just GIVE UP on desire. Give up on relationships. Give up on sex. I won't, of course, not completely but I have been considering it for many moments of the day. And so, as I do, I must shower it all off, work on my stuff, watch things all night, and continue to move forward.
What comes is better than what came before.
Chan Marshall
You put yourself upon a big stool
Nothin' worse than an educated fool
Talkin' sex is your favorite conversation
But peace and love is a famous generation
What's in your head has really started showing
your conversation gettin' kinda boring
Nina Simone, in Balm in Gilead
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